Hey guys... It's Effy again.
So here's the deal, last time I talked to you guys I looked like this:
I know... I am SO. EFFING. CUTE. It's pretty much the only thing I hear.
Anyway.. so my life is pretty good. I think. To be honest, I'm not quite sure. I don't really have anything to compare it to. I'm the face of a brand and I'm not even 1, people think I'm cute and beautiful, everyone wants to pet me, I never have to be locked up at home because I'm ALWAYS with the guys (pretty sure they don't want to get fired) and I live next to a park... Um, yeah, I know, I guess I am a pretty lucky Effing pup! When the guys play golf, I make them stay in the heat and hit their golf balls while I pick them up off of the green and jump into the lakes with them. Don't believe me? I'll have to show you the slow-mo videos that my dad took of me. It's pretty funny. The best part is that they think it's so cute when I run by and snag an important putt on it's way to the hole. They think it's cute... They have no idea that I do it on purpose. Just to assert my authority and let them know that I AM THE BOSS.
Outside of that I've pretty much just been hanging out at the office, eating sticks, chasing sticks, stacking sticks, hiding sticks.. you know, anything with sticks. So far this is the biggest stick I've ever found. I was really mad that day though because I kept trying to pick it up but I guess it just wanted to stay on the ground.
Anyyywayyyy, I'm going to go to the park and eat a 9 year old's lunchable. Yeah, I did that. I ran up to him. And I ate his Effing lunchable. It was a while ago, but even his mom laughed and said how cute I was... I get it guys, I'm cute, I'm pretty, I'm beautiful. You know what, why don't all of you keep your compliments to yourself and just PUT SOME EFFING CLOTHES ON!! (Oh and I'm just kidding about keeping the compliments to yourself).
Until next time,
President and CEO of Effing Gear
2821 McKinney Avenue, Dallas, Texas